He had it all. Y'know, the posh accent, the gorgeous sports car, the smouldering eyes. I thought he was a bit of a prat at first-Y'know, the typical Mr-I-think-I'm-so-wonderful, yet there was something about him that made me desperate for his attention. That's all I wanted and I dare say I wouldn't have done anything about it...if I hadn't started drinking.
My flirting was painfully obvious yet it meant nothing - not really. Then somehow I told him about P and our 'arrangements'. He told me I was too young to be tying myself down and I told him maybe it was too late. As we talked and I sobered up I saw a side to him that I hadn't anticipated. I saw someone who seemed concerned and caring. I don't know if he just felt sorry for me but somehow I knew, although we were complete strangers, he knew me a hell of a lot better than I thought. He said I had a lot going for me, I had a nice smile and nice hair and at 16 I shouldn't be making such commitments as I'm gonna change, whether I like it or not, I've got my life ahead of me - My life and I have to think of myself. It wasn't like he was telling me what to do. He seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and I wish I could have talked for longer. He gave me his number and said to call it if I wanted to talk. I wish I could promise that I won't phone him. I wish I could just throw those numbers away - but for some reason I can't - not yet anyway.
24/6/95
p.s Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought or maybe I'm not as stupid but I think I'll give that phone call a miss for now.
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