9th April 1995

I am just so fucked up -  I need to know where I stand with Ali. From what I've heard it seems that P has been giving the impression that I was totally to blame and that he couldn't control me. I wish I could remember more so that I could disprove that. Ok, so maybe I was coming on to him but he has no right to act as if he is completely blameless. I can remember some of what happened and believe me it didn't seem like he was trying to control me -  he sure has a warped idea of the term control. I can't believe I've almost lost Ali over this bastard. What the fuck is wrong with me.