29th April 1995

I don't believe this, P gets on better with my bloody parents than he does with me. I hate it. I know its not P's fault but I just feel so patronised. What the fuck does he see in me anyway - I'm only 15 for Gods sake. He deserves more. I do love him but I just can't understand how he can tell me he loves me. I can't tell him how I feel cos the last thing I want is his sympathy... For the first time I feel jealous, possesive and even obsessive - meanwhile P's stressing that I don't feel as much for him as he feels for me... I know I'm doing things in a crazy order but right now I feel ......in love?? It's kinds scary - I've never known how it feels to be in love before.