FUCK!-What the hell is wrong with me. I phoned Ali, explained to him how I felt - I guess was going ok till he told me to tell P he's a bastard etc, it was as if that just set a trigger off inside me. I just started crying - not badly at first but I just kinda broke down after he'd gone. Ali said something about maybe we'd get back together again sometime - I'm surprised he'd even consider taking me back after the way I've treated him. The phone rang a few seconds after I'd put the phone down but they hung up after I'd said hello - I don't know if it was Ali or not - I guess I never will.
pm.
I sometimes think that life's one big trick just waiting to catch me out...
P seems to really like me - maybe too much - I'm scared of believing everything he says cos I just feel so vulnerable. Everyone keeps warning me about P - but I don't care - I'm even tempted to give them something to worry about - I dont know if I luv P but I do know I luv being with him and how he makes me feel - that doesn't mean I've forgotton about Ali cos I haven't at all. He meant a lot to me and I'm not expecting to forget him just like that. But I dont know - maybe its gonna take longer than I thought
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