28th May 1995

No one can explain the feeling

God, I feel so fucked up. I've been made to feel like shit practically all day. Why the fuck does the fact that I'm not particularly keen on ruining the f all the relationships I have left with people for a few hours of fun automatically prove that I can't be trusted, am a complete liar, and am actually not in love at all. Whereas purposely making me feel like shit repeatedly is perfectly fine???? acceptable????? I don't want to write anything I might regret. I just hope to God things get better cos they sure as hell cant get much worse. Whats scary is that I don't think I'm strong enough to get myself out if they do.